Getting to Know You

So here’s the deal: I have been talking nonstop about a certain videogame about gorillas for the past two weeks without even managing to ingratiate myself among my (probably still imaginary) readers. They, at least in my fictional scenario, are probably saying to themselves, loud, “Who is this loon, cramming every hyperboles down our throats so hard 10 years too late about an antiquated Silicon-Valley-looking* piece of antique? I am under no obligation to read the excessively florid musings of someone who got a simian fetish! Close this window!”

Or maybe something less stilted. Point is, I’m a big unknown, and if horror movies are anything to go by, THE UNKNOWN STRIKES THE GREATEST FEAR FOR ALL! WHICH IS WHY I’VE DRIVEN PEOPLE AWAY! BECAUSE IN SPACE NO ONE CAN HEAR YOU ALLCAPS! Nonsequiturs aside, I have to get me some “get to know me” post now so we can all familiarize ourselves, hold hands and sing in perfect harmony. Let me do this with 26 random things I can tell you about myself, done in the format of “25 things” posts that were so rampant in Facebook years ago.

1. Though I am a card-carrying Taiwan citizen, I was born, raised, and is a resident of the Philippines.

2. Being brought up surrounded by two different cultures (Taiwanese at home, Filipino elsewhere) has its perks. F’instance, I speak more languages than most people here. The drawback is that I have a hard time identifying if I’m at heart a Taiwanese or a Filipino, and I refuse call myself the amalgamation of both races (Tai-Fi) because no one really does and Tai Fi either sounds like a vegetarian’s meat substitute, or a fraternity.

3. And did I write vegetarian? Because I am one.

4. Might as well say I will probably be one of the most ascetic individuals you’ll meet in your lifetime — well, should you ever get to know me. I don’t drink alcoholic beverages, I don’t smoke, and I don’t put psychedelic substances in my body. I love psychedelic arts though. I can’t deny that I draw a lot of inspiration from them. I sometimes even scribble pastels all over a piece of paper, and when the result is met with criticisms I defend myself by saying “YOU JUST DON’T GET MODERN ART!”.

5. I also draw inspirations from CD cover arts, and that’s one of my reasons for buying 1001 Albums You Must Hear Before You Die. The other reason is that it makes a good improvised dumbbell.

6. All this talk of inspiration may lead you to wonder if what I do for a living have anything to do with layout design. Well, yes and no. I design web sites (occasionally posters) as sidelines. My full time job has nothing to do with it. I will say though that my sideline inspires me far more since it’s a job driven on finding inspirations from every places…

7. …problem is, I am currently drawing a blank on a site I’m supposed to design.

8. Back to 1001 Albums You Must Hear Before You Die, I’m trying to hear all the albums, though progress has been really slow (currently own upward to 300+ but have heard only 100 to completion — and that’s being generous). I still can’t believe there’s a Britney Spears and a Justin Timberlake album in it. Or Limp Bizkit. Or Linkin Park. God, these are some writers from The Rolling Stone. Is it a wonder that no one really buys these mags for the articles anymore?

9. Would my goal to get through 1001 albums make me an audiophile? Would audio be the least creepy phile?!

10. Jazz is my comfort music, and Bill Evans’ Waltz for Debby will always be my comfort album. I can cram this item with more. Saving that for another time.

11. I hardcore am a gaming geek. Moving on…

12. This list goes for 26 items because the number is a reference to an age I’m mere hours away from leaving behind and I feel the need to announce this in a roundabout way to a crowd that’s just barely getting to know me. What a mess I am.

13. I fear NOTHING and THAT MAKES ME MANLY. Okay, I lie. I am creeped by baby dolls, and you bet I needed to cope with more stress seeing that baby from Toy Story 3 than the average viewers. It’s those lifeless eyes, man, those lifeless eyes!

14. Follow me at twitter. I also go by “nightdreamer” there. I also really like making fun of people’s names, for some reason.

15. Nothing will ever convince me that autotoned vocals is a legitimate display of talent and I stand now and forever a staunch detractor of autotuning artists. Only Daft Punk is exempt from my ire.

16. Geek speak: I always dread using the pen tool, but submit that it’s a necessary evil. Yuck.

17. 2010 is the year I feel that a lot of media that received critical acclaims did not deserve it. Short list: Final Fantasy 13, Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker, Scott Pilgrim vs The World, The Social Network, and Iron Man 2.

18. I wish I could be better at photography, but I’m too broke to buy expensive lenses and flashes. I have a dSLR camera but I’m not yet past the phase of looking like an ass with a dSLR.

19. Gee I wish I could go this long and still be funny. But I can’t! So instead I’m going to use a lame insult for placeholder here. Nerdface!

20. I would write snail mails if I still had the time and if people from faraway places would grant me an audience FOR MY ILLEGIBLE SCRAWLS AND BARELY COHERENT ENGLISH!

21. Can someone please sell me on Spider-man? Because despite all the praises it garnered I find that it’s also the most prone to sabotages by writers offending the senses. Clone Saga? One More Day? Sins Past? Really?!

22. As of now I still am on the fence about reading Hunger Games trilogy, because since the people I am surrounded with regularly don’t read, my only means of reading a book is through buying. Will I regret the purchase? Will I read it with nagging thoughts of “shouldn’t I read those books you’ve started hoarding from Booksale since forever”? Will I be this indecisive when it comes to women too? WIll I stop with the asking questions no one can answer? And yes, I should tell you that the libraries in the Philippines are worthless, except those in universities, which you can’t borrow books from anyway if you’re not enrolled.

23. I wish I could write a novel.

24. It’s 3:30 AM. Wow, this is gonna be a long day.

25. I warn you now that if you liked any of the Michael Bay’s Transformers (or worse yet, both), you’ll never hear me stop complaining about them. I hate them so much the hatred is an obsession, and pretty much each day I find new ways to diss those pieces of overstimulated brain-farts. I big time don’t need American directors to cram their patriotic ideals down my throat and then portray minorities in ways that only fattens the privileged white males’ ego.

26. Let me counter the negativity from the previous item by stating something positive. How To Train Your Dragon is my pick for 2010’s most pleasing movie, because not since The Lost Vikings 2 have I seen Vikings and Dragons coexist. I’m not saying reminding me of that old school videogame is the sole reason for my liking How To Train Your Dragon, but it helped.

*I’ve actually been told by one hater of Donkey Kong Country that it looked like Silicon Valley stuff. Explain yourself, Brad Gallaway!

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